EVMs… Do They Have It In Them!?

Finally! we have proof, the electronic revolution is making us smart and even the political class is starting to benefit. The Political parties in India have taken the initiative and decided to give it all the limelight by making it the culprit for their loss in the 2017 assembly election. I remember someone quoting an incident where a movie with a phenomenal cast and director didn’t do well and the entire blame was put on the story, and on inquiry of the script writer, Shakespeare had to be put on the stand. When the whole world is in turmoil because of the recent elections in UP, how can Shakespeare rest in peace!

So we had to ask the EVMs, does it hurt when people blame you for their losses in the elections. “Yes it does!” Came the emphatic reply, “especially if you have to go through so much before, during, and after elections. Firstly, before we are given an opportunity to serve the nation, we are made to go through such a fitness test that even the Army would never dream of. We are first infused with a chip that can only be programmed once. We are never permitted to socialize with any of our peers or go near the internet and accept any friend request. We get no rest and are made to undergo mock drills that too under the glaring eyes of the representatives of these political parties, who are there only to find faults. God forbid, even a small glitch can render us useless. This country has no pity for its handicapped. After such a rigorous regimen if you pass through to the elections, don’t think your ordeal is over. You are handcuffed (sealed) and kept in prison like conditions, one on top of the other, with armed guards outside. You can’t even breathe. Who the hell after so much torture can even think of uttering a lie. All we want to do is blurt out the count and run away, that is it!”

Oh! we all thought, that the EVMs were having a cushy time.  “No! please understand that we are not like these political parties, who rest their entire time and don’t perform even when tested. We are here to serve our nation, and what bigger disservice than to not execute what you are paid to do. If the people want to be fooled and want to go back to the old age of manual counting and spend more days glued to their TV screen to get the result then so be it.”


Climate Change Is The New Trend!

On (apparently) the first day of Winter I have to say that ‘Winter’ is the new fashion of the season. It is unique in a way, that though it cannot be avoided, its effect can be blunted, even by just our believing that climate change is not for real. See the women attending all the marriages in their sarees and backless blouses, with no warm clothes to contradict of how hot they look. But, even if you believe that climate change is not real, our electricity bills sure are. We can find them increasing, paying the price of our higher AC usage, in its effort to keep us looking  cool. Our AC will be telling you this in the near future, when it finds its way to the cloud and will be part of internet of things, of how much demanding its job is becoming. It has to work for more days and also more hours each day. Anyway we may believe that the bills is too much of an effort to compare, and even our own feeling of the growing heat doesn’t matter, what is important is what President Trump says. If he says that climate change is hoax then it is, because I love his confidence in saying so. I love even more the way he calls everyone, who doesn’t toe his line, ‘nasty’ and ‘crooked’. In fact he is the real fashion. Even a cold country like Russia thinks he is hot. They may not follow him at home as they have no money for any fashion fads.  So what if they are poor, they still have the right to entertainment and if that involves pulling other people’s pants, through the novel use of computer codes, so be it. I don’t mind at all if all the debate about climate change becomes a fashion. I am only uncomfortable with it becoming a fad.